And that's how I feel about brand name coupons.
In the coupon packets in the Sunday paper they also advertise some very unique items. And, in case you skimmed over them too fast, I thought I'd share my favorites. I think they would make lovely Christmas presents. (side note-if you own these items, I'm not making fun of you. I get made fun of for my Spice Girls mug all the time. Except that my dad stole it so now he gets the eyebrow raise when he goes into the break room for a refill.) I have even categorized the gifts for you. First, let's head to the Apparel Department.
Ahh, Bunny Wisdom. Since I have no technical capabilities whatsoever you can't really read what's on this beautiful shirt. If I was classy and knew how to use Photoshop this would probably work out a lot better. But I digress. Back to Bunny Wisdom - the shirt reads - Take Time To Relax, Enjoy the Simple Things, and Slow Down. That is the wisdom bunnies have. I always thought bunnies were very skitterish and fast so I'm not sure where these wise bunnies came from.
Our next item is Spirit of the Wilderness. I feel like this would be perfect for Sarah Palin but I have no reasons to back that up. It's just a gut feeling. This is a fleece jacket and features wolf art in various places on the jacket. There are even sculptural wolf zipper pulls on the front and the pockets - to "add to the unique styling". I feel so bad for the copy person who had to write up this advertisement. To make this fleece even more special, you are limited to only ONE per order. And that's a shame; because I was looking to outfit the whole family for our holiday picture.
Our last apparel items is for the ladies only. And this one, too, is only limited to one per order - that's how special these jackets are! This one is titled the "Magic of Christmas". Don't we all want a little Christmas Magic?! It states - "A cozy wardrobe essential embroidered with OVER 20 (their emphasis, not mine) of your favorite Disney characters!" It also features a sculptural metallic snowflake zipper charm. I think "sculptural metallic snowflake zipper charm" is code for "will fall off the first time you try to zip this up."
When Jamison saw this little lady, he wanted to know why "that cat looks like that" and I had to explain, it's not a cat, it's this unusual dog called a Chihuahua, but deep down I believe they are part of the rodent family. He thought I made up the name and was laughing hysterically. The he ran around the house for 20 minutes saying chihuahua over and over. Not one of my best teachable moments with my son.
This dressed up gal is "never short on personality!" Which is high praise for a piece of ceramic. She also features sparkling faux gems (what?! I thought they were real! It would have been such a good gift idea if only the gems were real.) and a (as in one) real feather!
This delicate piece is a cat. But I didn't show Jamison because I would have no answer to his inevitable question as to why the cat had wings. "Hello Sunshine" features lifelike whiskers and glitter - which our cat has as well after walking across Lily's craft table. There are more faux gems on this cat - 10 of them, in fact. The advertisement also notes that the "glittery sun is suspended on a springy wire!" But the real question is why? Why is there a glittery sun on a springy wire? For the Cat Lady's 100 cats to continually paw at it so that it moves its glittery sun? This gift is definitely for the cat lover (and faux gem lover) that you have in your life.
Who does not like Gone With the Wind? This piece actually hurts me to look at because I like the movie so much. This is the Premier Issue of the Gone With the Wind Figurine Collection. That means there WILL be more of them. Someone produced this and said - this is great! Let's make more! It looks like the next one will be of her Curtain Dress, which they fancy up and call "The Green Velvet Dress." We all know what dress you are talking about and everyone calls it the Curtain Dress. Call it what it is.
There is only one item in our Jewelry Department. But really, after seeing it, one item is all you need. It's PANDA MANIA! There are no faux jewels here, ladies and gentlemen. There are real diamonds on this ring....tiny as they are since the piece is only $55 (plus shipping and handling, don't forget). As stated in the advertisement - "the panda strikes an endearing pose as he contentedly sits amid bamboo stalks lavishly plated with 24k gold, and nibbles on delicate diamond studded leaves". I've see bamboo. This ring does not look like bamboo. But I must give credit to where credit is due. The copywriter paints a picture with their description of the ring. I feel bad that they are stuck in this job; but in this economy - a job is a job.
"An Old Fashioned Disney Christmas" is a snow globe with lights, music, and continually swirling snow. It plays 8 (timeless) holiday classics. If this snow globe was in my house there are a variety of things that would happen to it:
1. Lily would confiscate it, declaring it to be the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. It will then go into her room where it will be lost among all the other "most beautiful things she has ever seen".
2. Jamison would casually walk by it and without evening meaning to (or noticing that he did it) would knock it down. Questionable snow globe liquid and faux snow would be splattered everywhere. Jamie would then step on the sharpest piece of glass and slice his foot open.
3. I would throw the thing outside because the kids wouldn't stop playing the "8 timeless holiday melodies".
This one may not exactly be for the kids but I know my kids would be captivated by it. Does Thomas Kincaid paint anymore? Or does he just keep endorsing useless items like this? There is a Santa and reindeer at the top that actually circle the Christmas tree when turned on. Four trains continually drive around the tree. The one thing that it doesn't offer is music. And thank goodness for that.
Lastly, this is an item that I saw in one of the gizillion magazines that arrive at our house daily. It is a Japanese Sand Garden for children age 3 and older. I thought - this is perfect for Jamison! I can easily see him lovingly tending his sand garden. With the little wee rocks and little wee rake, he would gently carve designs in the sand. And of course the sand would never leave the container! No, he would never dump the sand on the ground to create a beach for his McDonald's Megamind figure. No, those rakes would never be broken and turned into spikes to stab his hot dog. And there is no way on this green earth he would ever throw one of those rocks. Not Jamison.